A Captain and a Vulcan Walk into a Bar
by V-vay
Summary: What happens when the new crew of the USS Enterprise have a few drinks and then a Captain and a Vulcan walk into the bar? Chapter 1 of many if all goes well...
1. Chapter 1

My first fic - lemme know (constructively) what you think.

I just love the 'verse - I don't lay claim to anything in it.

**A Captain and a Vulcan walk into a bar…**

It was almost anti-climactic, last week they were racing around at warp speeds and saving Earth (and tragically unable to save Vulcan) but this week three new friends were sitting in a quiet bar just outside of San Francisco's Chinatown. Sulu, a San Francisco native, had thought that this would be the perfect place to knock back a few drinks and give everyone a chance to relax.

"Another vodka, lad?" said Montgomery "Scotty" Scott, late of Delta Vega and now serving as the Chief Engineer on the USS Enterprise, to a bleary-eyed youth slumping in his chair.

"No tank you…I tink I am already hung over."

"Och, now what kind of man are you that you can't take another wee dram of vodka…'tis not like it is something strong, like whiskey."

Sulu chuckled to himself at the outrageous accents his crewmates had, accents that had gotten broader throughout the night, no doubt because of the copious amounts of alcohol that had been consumed.

Scotty beckoned for another round, vodka for Chekov, whiskey for Scotty and a beer for Sulu and in a moment the bar's only waitress had brought it over.

As she sat the drinks down, a newcomer to the bar spoke up "Put those on my tab and I'll have what he's having." The man was older than the others and spoke with an accent that placed his origins in the southern part of what was still referred to as the United States, even after the united government of Earth was formed. He was pointing at the now-empty shot glass that Scotty was holding.

"McCoy, I always knew ye had good taste…and I'll take another too…on your tab"

As the waitress walked back to the bar, McCoy sat down with the others.

"Any word from Jim, yet?"

At the mention of their newly appointed Captain's name, Chekov tried, rather unsuccessfully, to straighten up in his chair.

Sulu held out his hand to steady Chekov lest the boy-genius fall to the floor and replied, "Well, he said that Spock had invited him to a wake for his mother, but that it should be over by about now."

"I would think that a Vulcan wake would be a dull affair…now Scots, we know how to throw a wake." Scotty said as he started to stack his shot glasses into a pyramid.

"Not a Vulcan wake," Sulu said, "Spock's mother was human…it's for the human side of his family."

"Well," said Scotty as he drank Chekov's latest shot of vodka and use the glass to finish off his impressive tower of barware, "then I suppose the lovely Lt. Uhura will be with them."

"Why would you think that?" McCoy leaned in towards Scotty, his eyebrow arched as he spoke.

"Seeing that Spock and she are, ahem," Scotty looked around dramatically and lowered his voice, "intimate. If ye know what I mean."

"Uhura and that cold-blooded sonovabitch?" McCoy said with genuine surprise in his voice.

"He didn't seem so cold-blooded when I beamed he and Jim over to _Narada _and Uhura sent him off with kisses and tears." The Scotsman smiled at the memory of the sight, "That lass could send me off to my doom anytime - as long as she kissed me first."

The waitress brought over two more whiskeys and set them down in front of McCoy and Scotty. Chekov was singing quietly to himself in Russian.

"I suppose that their business is their business," Sulu took a swig from his bottle, "but isn't that really against Star Fleet regulations…I mean, Commander Spock doesn't seem to be the type to break rules."

McCoy downed his shot in one motion and in an expansive voice said, "The heart, even one that pumps green blood, wants what the heart wants."

Scotty snickered, "I am not sure it was his heart that was a-wantin' the lass."

"Well, whatever the reason, I am sure they won't let it get in the way of their duty."

"Let what get in the way of whose duty, Sulu?"

Sulu almost did a spit-take as the female object of their conversation came up behind him.

"Uhura, we didn't know if you would meet us here, I mean with the wake and um, well, your schedule and…uh…want a beer??" Sulu was verbally backpedaling and could feel a hot blush on his cheeks, a blush that he hoped Uhura would attribute to the beer he held in his hands.

"Not a beer," the lovely lieutenant said, "but I will take a Cardassian Sunrise. And what wake are you talking about?" A frown etched itself in her full lips as she thought about all the lives lost in the past week, including her Academy roommate, Gaila.

McCoy, whose experience with dealing with the fair sex was at least equal to that of all the other men at the table combined, well at least Sulu and Chekov, cleared his throat and decided that a change of topic was in order, "Well, my dear, your drink is on me if you can get Chekov to quit singing."

Uhura laughed a very musical laugh as she sat down between Scotty and the drunken Russian, "I don't know if I want to work that hard for my drink, Doctor."

"Doctor was my father's name, please, call me Bones." McCoy sketched a courtly bow in his chair and continued, "That's what all my close, personal friends call me."

"Close, personal friends, like Jim Kirk?" she said a little archly.

"The Captain? He is here?" Chekov mumbled, stopping his song as he looked blearily about for his commanding officer.

"Yes, Chekov, he is here and he would like you to stop singing." Uhura quickly said.

"Aye aye, Captain!" Chekov said as he tried, unsuccessfully, to salute and then laid his head on the table.

"Voila! No more singing! Bones, you owe me a drink." Uhura smiled as McCoy again beckoned the waitress to their table and ordered everyone, minus the now softly snoring Chekov, another round.

"You sound as if you don't like our new Captain." Scotty chimed in, "I think he's simply brilliant! Why without him showing up on Delta Vega, I would still be there. It was serin, serindip, errr…fate that brought him to me."

"Well, fate aside," McCoy said as he looked directly at the xenolinguist, "you should give Jim a chance, he might be a bit brash but he is a good man, and a good friend."

"I'll take your opinion under advisement, Bones." Uhura nodded her thanks to the waitress as the brightly colored Cardassian Sunrise was placed in front of her and she took a sip.

Twenty more minutes of conversation passed between McCoy, Scotty, Sulu and Uhura. They covered wide-ranging topics such as warp coil configurations, the best sushi bar in the city, how big Chekov's hangover would be in the morning and the chances that the Cardiff Giants had in this year's World Cup when the door to the bar opened and three people walked in.

Even out of their Star Fleet uniforms, two of them were immediately recognized by the group. James T. Kirk, the youngest Captain of a Constitution-class starship in fleet history was wearing dark blue, traditionally cut suit with a white shirt and an understated tie and standing next to the Captain was Commander Spock wearing a dark grey suit of similar cut to Kirk's. The third person, however, was unknown to the group. Although, by the way she was holding Spock's arm, she was quite well known to him.

Her honey colored hair was tumbled about her shoulders in loose waves and she was dressed in a very fashionable sleeveless black dress that ended well above her knees. In the low heels she wore, she stood about five foot eight and she looked to be in her early twenties. As the trio stood in the doorway, she reached up, and with a gesture born of familiarity, ran her hand through Spock's hair, gently ruffling his severe cut so that it gave a bit of softness to his face. She said something that the group at the table couldn't hear, but it made Kirk laugh loudly as Spock favored her with what might have been a micro-second long grin.

McCoy and Scotty looked at each other and then at Uhura and then at the woman holding Spock's arm. "My God, man," Scotty whispered to McCoy, "how does Spock land all the lovelies?"

"I have no idea, but I think we might have a fight on our hands that will make what we went through last week look anemic." Bones whispered back to Scotty as Uhura's eyes went hard and her hands gripped her glass tightly as Jim, Spock and the gorgeous young woman strode towards their table.

END CHAPTER 1


	2. Chapter 2

Kirk always prided himself on being able to size up people and his academy training had only honed this skill. As he walked towards table where his friends sat, his assessment was quick. McCoy: concerned and drunk; Scotty: drunk and concerned; Chekov: unconscious; Uhura: jealous; Sulu…wait…why would Uhura be jealous? Then it dawned on him…it was her.

_"Oh"_ Kirk realized as the three newcomers came to a stop at the head of the table, _"this is gonna be fun…"_

Before anyone could say anything, Kirk spread his hands in a welcoming gesture, "Everyone, I'd like you to meet the most amazing woman…Spock's known her for quite some time…Zoë…you need to tell everyone the story about how you and Spock were found kissing at that party!"

At that, Uhura slid her chair back and stood up and quietly said, "Please excuse me." She turned sharply and strode towards the back hallway of the bar, her boot heels marking a staccato rhythm on the tile floor as she walked away.

"Was it something I said?" Jim called out after his retreating communications officer as he lowered himself in her now vacant chair, he _might_ have gone a bit far, maybe...

"Jim, what kind of games are you three playing?" a perturbed McCoy grumbled, "What has Uhura done to deserve this type of treatment?" This last phrase was decidedly aimed at Spock.

Spock, never quite comfortable around emotionally volatile humans, especially when they had been imbibing what appeared to be massive quantities of liquor, raised an eyebrow and replied "Doctor, I am not sure what you mean."

"Do you have one in every port, Commander? You know, 'tis a poor excuse of a man that brings his new lady-love around when the old one is still about." Scotty pointed an accusing finger at the Vulcan.

Feeling that this situation was getting out of control, Zoë released Spock's arm and shook her head. "First of all, I am not Spock's 'lady-love' and secondly, even though I just met him a few hours ago, I am sure you are all aware that as charming as Jim is, he can still be an ass."

At Zoë's plain spoken words, Sulu said, "She nailed it, Jim, you _can_ be an ass."

"Well, what's all this about kissing?" McCoy asked, suddenly more interested now that he had discovered that a) Zoë was not with Spock and b) she saw through Jim's charm.

Zoë chuckled as she grabbed a chair from a nearby table and sat down near McCoy. "We were only about, what six?" She cocked her head quizzically towards the still standing Spock and he gave a brief nod of assent, "We were at a garden party at the Vulcan embassy and we had just been introduced and I was convinced that he was," she stopped and grinned sheepishly, "an Elven prince from Middle-Earth. An Elven prince that I wanted to kiss."

Sulu, an avid lover of the stories of Middle-Earth, shook his head and chuckled, "You thought Spock was an Elven prince…like Elrond the Half-Elven? Except that he was Spock, the half-Vulcan?"

"I prefer to think of myself as Spock, the half-Human," was Spock's dry response.

"Hey, I said I was only six. Aunt Amanda set me straight and all was good after that."

"Aunt Amanda?" McCoy breathed a sigh of relief, "You mean to say that you and Spock are cousins?" Now that he was looking directly at her, he could see that Zoë and Spock did share some similar features, their chins, their long slender fingers and most noticeably their eyes. They both had the same brown eyes, both brimming with intelligence, and in Zoë's case emotion.

"What else, indeed, _Doctor_?" Spock said, exasperation almost creeping in to his crisp tones.

"Well, if that's the case, _Commander_, you'd better get your pointy ears in gear and go find Uhura; I think you just might have broken her heart."

At McCoy's words, a sudden and brief burst of emotion crossed Spock's face.

"Go after her, Spock," Zoë gave him a shove and a wink, "Don't worry about me…I can handle these men on my own."

"Worrying about you is illogical, Zoë, I am confident with your training and abilities you can extricate yourself successfully from any unwanted situations," with that he gave what might have been considered a warning look in Jim Kirk's general direction and strode purposefully away.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Uhura held her head high as she walked away from the table, she could feel the weight of her friend's stares on her back, but she refused to give that blonde bimbo the satisfaction of turning around. _"Who am I kidding,"_ she thought to herself, _"Spock would never kiss a bimbo, she's probably perfect."_ As she walked down the darkened hallway she realized that she wasn't sure where she was going, then she saw an exit sign that promised freedom from the sudden lack of oxygen in the bar.

She opened the door and the smell of the alley hit her almost physically, but anywhere was better than being back at that table watching that woman be so casual, so familiar with Spock. According to Jim, they had known each other for years…a thought suddenly popped into her head, _"Were Spock and she together while Spock and I…"_ she didn't want to continue that line of thought because it pained her too much.

She walked a few yards down the alleyway and leaned against a damp brick wall. Sure, in the past she had her fair share of boyfriends, a couple of lovers and while none of them lasted long, the partings were had all been amicable, no drama, no hurt feelings. She could not believe that what she and Spock had cultivated slowly, sometimes painstakingly, over the last few years could be so callously swept aside. After the destruction of Vulcan and the death of his mother, she asked him what she could do for him and he told her that he wanted everyone to continue to 'perform admirably' and, dammit, that is what she had done. She was there for him and she felt hurt in ways that she didn't know she could be hurt.

Crying freely, she started to gulp in deep breaths of the fetid alley air to try to stop herself from falling apart, she started to shake, out of pain and anger, and then she heard the door open. The light that was cast out from open door bathed a sliver of the alley in wan light and she could see that it was Spock; no doubt coming out to offer her a logical explanation and an equally logical break-up speech.

Quickly wiping the tears from her face, she squared her shoulders and prepared herself for the formal announcement from his lips, _his soft, warm, sensual, lips,_ that the relationship that they shared was now to be considered terminated. He made his way to her and stood directly in front of her and closing the distance between their bodies he reached out and stroked her still wet cheek.

"Nyota," he said gently, "my Nyota, do not cry."

At the sound of her name, tears rolled unbidden down her cheeks and she was powerless to stop them. She tilted her head down and watched her tears fall to the pavement.

"I'm sure she will make you happy…"

"Happiness is illogical, but if anyone were to give me happiness, it would be you." At that he gently lifted her chin so that he was looking into her eyes, "You give me things that I thought I would never have, Nyota, things that I never knew I wanted until I met you."

"But she, what Jim said…she's so pretty and…she touched you…and…and…," she took a breath and sniffed loudly, unable to finish her sentence. Uhura, a scholar with over a dozen earth languages and at least that many alien languages and dialects in her repertoire was at a loss for words.

"Nyota, of course she is physically attractive. Zoë is, simply stated, my maternal cross-cousin."

Uhura lifted her hand to her cheek again to wipe her face, "She's your cousin?"

"Yes, my mother's older brother's only child," Spock leaned in towards Uhura and rested his forehead against hers and added quietly, "She resembles my mother greatly."

Uhura relished the touch of Spock's skin against hers as his words started to make sense, "Oh Spock, I thought…"

Before she could continue, Spock silenced her with a soft kiss.

~*~*~*~*~*~*

As Spock walked away to find Uhura, Zoë smiled warmly at the people Spock had been telling her about over the past few days. He had come to her father's house in Chicago to spend some time with his mother's side of the family. She was glad that Spock not only seemed to have friends, but _real_ friends for what seemed to be the first time in his life. She knew that the sudden loss of his home planet and his mother, her beloved Aunt Amanda, had irrevocably changed his life in ways that no one could fathom, but perhaps these new friendships would be enough to start the healing process.

The four conscious men at the table looked at her expectantly, until the thin man with what she believed to be a Scottish accent asked, "What will ye be drinking, lassie?"

"_Tequila añejo, por favor," _Zoë looked around at all the empty beer bottles and glasses on the table, "Although I hope you don't expect me to play catch-up."

Sulu stood up, "I'll grab your drink, be right back." He grinned a slightly lopsided grin at her as he turned to go to the bar.

"Get me a beer, Hikaru, don't care what kind – as long as it's on McCoy's tab!" Kirk shouted after his helmsman's retreating form.

"I would think that your recent promotion would stop you from being such a mooch, Jim." McCoy shook his head and then realized that he hadn't formally introduced himself to Spock's lovely cousin. "You must think me a cad," McCoy said with all the genteel charm that he could muster after matching Scotty whiskey for whiskey, "Leonard McCoy, newly appointed Chief Medical Officer of the USS Enterprise, at your service."

McCoy continued the introductions, "next to me here is Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott, our unconscious friend is Pavel Chekov, and the one grabbing your firewater is Hikaru Sulu, pilot and swordsman extraordinaire."

"You should have seen him on that mining platform," Kirk chimed in, "when he told me his close combat skill was fencing, I almost laughed at him, but the man knows how to handle himself in a fight."

Sulu heard Kirk as he came back to the table and sat Zoë's shot down in front of her, "Legacy of a misspent youth, Jim, I always thought I would be a better fit for the HMS Enterprise not the USS Enterprise."

Zoë picked up the shot and downed it in a well-practiced motion, then added her glass to the ever growing pyramid in the center of the table, "Fencing, Sulu? I dabbled with fencing in college; I would love to have a match with you sometime."

"Sure, that'd be great – what do you prefer, epee, saber, foil? We don't ship out for a few more days, let me know what would work for you," Sulu smiled, happy that someone else might share his passion for the art of fencing.

"Well, all my equipment is back home, but I feel comfortable with any style, but since I challenged you, you technically get to pick the weapon."

"So, where is home for you?" Scotty asked.

"Well, my I travel a lot for my job, but I keep a few things at my dad's place in Chicago." Zoë caught the eye of the waitress and signaled for another drink.

"What is it that you do?" McCoy asked, "Supermodel?"

Zoë laughed, "Nothing so glamorous, Leonard, I'm a professional grave robber."

"You do _what_, now?" Scotty shook his head as if he wasn't quite sure if he had heard her correctly.

"Well, if you want my formal title, I am the 'Assistant Curator of Off-World Collections and Alien Artifacts' at the Field Museum of Natural History," Zoë smiled, "I'm just your basic archaeologist."

At this point, Spock and Uhura emerged from the back hallway, hand in hand, and everyone at the table heaved a collective sigh of relief that the two of them had seemingly made up.

Uhura walked over to Zoë and held out her hand, "Nyota Uhura, I'm _very_ pleased to meet you." Uhura's smile was welcoming and Zoë stood up and converted Uhura's handshake in to a sisterly hug, "Zoë Grayson, and I am glad that Spock has you in his life."

~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Lemme know what you think…there will be more…_


End file.
